Ask yourself these three questions to create an authentic, satisfying year.
Reflecting on our own life experience to help move us forward.
Simply put, a couple of months back, I took on too much.
I could make plenty of excuses, but I’m not sure it even matters WHY I did it.
I jumped into too many projects and commitments without regard for my actual self – my physical body, my mental state, the part of me that craves soulful peace. I didn’t stop to consider the side effects of this “too much” and how it would impact my various states of being.
I lost sleep, missed out on time with my family, suffered from lack of restorative downtime – pretty much just felt a cortisol buzz coursing through my body as the daily norm. I did all of this to myself during the holiday season – literally my favorite time of year. Instead of enjoying festive, cozy vibes, I felt persistent low-grade anxiety because there was no possible way to complete my self-imposed to-do list. I’d lost connection with how it felt to be ME and enjoy life. I was existing in survival mode, and it was unnecessary.
This was not my first rodeo with overcommitment, the resulting stress, and the feeling of being utterly disconnected from myself and my life.
I’d been here before, but more importantly, how would I get back to myself?”
Yes. I’d been in this overwhelmed, overcommitted, disconnected place before, but I’ve also found my way out - which means I have the antidote. I know how to get back to myself.
I asked myself three things:
What do I want, or how do I want to feel?
When do I feel that way, or when have I felt that way before?
How do I get there?*
My answers:
I want time to pursue activities (painting, reading, writing, walking outdoors) purely for enjoyment.
I want to take care of my body physically (I’d stopped working out).
I want to feel aware of my body and my emotions, connected to myself.
I want to feel present in life and foster awareness.
I want to feel like I’m learning, creating, and growing.
I want to slow down and feel peaceful, appreciative, and truly grateful.
With this info, how could I start to move towards what feels better?
I wanted spare time in my life, freedom, and room to breathe. This meant it was imperative to let something go – if there is too much to handle, it’s necessary to cull the excess. What could I eliminate? I’ll admit this was challenging for me. I like to do things well and right – thus, not quit, but I had to put some options to the test. I made a list of possible discards and pondered what it felt like to let them go. The options that brought me the most relief when I closed my eyes and literally imagined them removed from my responsibilities were the ones to go. (If you’ve been following here on Substack, you may have noticed it was one of the things to go. I banked on the fact that everyone was busy, and you probably wouldn’t even notice I was gone. If you did, I apologize, but even more, I’m flattered, and I appreciate you!)
I wanted (needed!) to take care of my body. I’d stopped exercising because the mountain of tasks was even more insurmountable if I took time away from working to, um… not work. I’d finally reached the pain point of missing the benefits of working out more than missing the time I’d lose if I did. Back on my list of priorities, it went. In a stroke of serendipitous encouragement, the note scrawled in chalk marker on the gym window proclaimed, “This is YOUR year!”. Indeed. I’m taking care of myself in 2024. How about you?
I wanted to feel aware of my body and emotions, connected to myself, and present in life. This meant I needed to create situations in which I could focus on these aspirations. I turned, once again, to my art journaling practice. It plays a primary role in my level of day-to-day contentment, and even so, it still falls to the side sometimes. A mix of writing, presence, and visual storytelling through painting, mark-making, collage, and experimental artistic play, I needed it back in my life for my happiness and health.
I wanted to learn, create, and grow. Again – I feel this powerfully when I’m painting and journaling, and especially when I combine them to gain insight and tap into my intuition. By engaging in visual and written journaling several days a week, I can’t help but improve my craft. Even more valuable is what I learn about myself through the process. What lessons are revealing themselves? What emotions am I processing? What tools, mediums, colors, and marks help me document and communicate what I’m experiencing? Another vote for re-instating my art journaling practice on a frequent basis.**
I wanted to slow down and feel peaceful, appreciative, and truly grateful. Yes. All the above list items address this. I basically just articulated the same desires in a single sentence. Stop saying yes to everything. Clear out the obligations that aren’t serving you, and engage in activities that feed your body and soul. Appreciation and gratitude will follow, and if I’m actively art journaling, I have a way to memorialize what I’m learning and accomplishing, creating a visual story of my life and art practice as I go.
An invitation:
As we head into another year, I invite you to think about where you are now and where you’d like to go.
Where are you right now? Do your days feel good and authentic to you? If not, what’s bothering you about your current situation? What do you want instead?
Make a short, quick list, not bothering with punctuation, grammar, or complete sentences. Move quickly and write whatever comes to mind.
Now that you’ve got it out in front of you, I invite you to follow the same line of questioning I used: When you think about what you want, can you remember a time or situation that provided it in the past? How can you facilitate it again?
Brainstorm some ideas and pay attention to how your body feels as you mentally audition each possibility. What feels like the most exciting, interesting, or relieving change to make?
Let’s have a conversation. Share your thoughts below, and let’s see if we can set some happy change in motion!
Have a wonderful week!
XO,
Sara
If you’re like me and a journaling practice feels like a move towards authenticity, my workshop series, Visually You might appeal to you. It starts Feb 7th, and we meet live over Zoom every Wednesday at 10 am EST or 2 pm EST through March 13th. Limited seats are still available.
*Though I’ve used this line of questioning routinely with myself throughout the years, I didn’t recognize it as a tool that could benefit others until training as a Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach. This approach is a cornerstone of the Kaizen-Muse model developed by Jill Badonsky. If you’re feeling stumped, blocked, overwhelmed, or even just a bit directionless in life or creativity and would like help breaking through, leave a comment or send me an email saying so. We’ll chat, and I’ll share some info on my coaching services.
**Similar to my experience with the Kaizen-Muse questions and process shared above, I discovered another similarity with the questions I use to reflect on my artwork. Though I’ve been using this form of reflection to glean meaning from my work for years and began using them as the framework for my Visually You program in 2022, they also bear similarity to questions taught by Cynthia Hauk in her Mindful Art and Meditation program, in which I participated in 2023. We had not crossed paths before then, yet we’d discovered kindred lines of questioning about our work. The coincidence that we arrived at similar destinations leads me to believe in the import of the questions, the insight they provide, and the likelihood that many others have arrived here, too. Cheers to digging deep through creativity!
Thank you for reading Pieces. If you’re thinking of someone who’d benefit from this exercise, please feel free to share!